Datacenter Admins: How do you deal with abuse complaints?

I'm a sysadmin at a mid-sized datacenter with multiple locations. We get a lot of abuse complaints. (usually, but not always our unmanaged customers)

In an effort to sort them out, I've created a script that parses the content of the complaint, and forward it to the responsible party, or (if it's a server we manage, sends to us) But it's incredibly complex at this point, and I'm always having to hack it based on new 'complaint types.'

I also keep track of these in a database, to make sure they've followed up on the abuse issue, which adds more complexity.

I just wonder, is there a better way? I wish all spam/dmca/misc abuse complaints would follow some sort of standard format.

It makes me wonder -- Is there a better way?

Anyone else have this problem? Solutions?